A couple thoughts from my walk
OK, I had a few thoughts I wanted to get down from my walk earlier.
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First, I'm considering the difference between writing for an audience and writing for oneself. If there is a difference, what difference does it make. How does it affect the way we formulate ideas and express them, ect.
I think writing in the edit box on the browser, it automatically feels like I'm writing for other people, and it feels different. I feel like my thoughts are more simplistic, or the way I express myself becomes managed by the anticipation of an audience.
With how I'm writing right now, I feel more open, my writing feels less explanatory and bland. This may never end up being a blogpost. It may eventually, but because I'm not in-browser, it's like I'm sort of tricking my self. It feels more personal
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Second thought, I was considering drugs and why they tend to become so problematic for us. We think of drugs as something we ingest and they change our experience of life in some way. We can extend that to anything, any behaviour that causes changes in our experience. Any kind of external that applies to the internal. There's a sense of a membrane that is crossed or affected.
It's almost that life itself becomes the drug, at all times we are in communication with the environment, there is no separation. And it's as if there are certain patterns that we can get drawn into. They promise desire-able change to our experience, but they draw us into these behavioral loops as we (our bodies/minds) adapt to receiving the input from the outside.